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In My Car

by Rat Tally

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  • Record/Vinyl + Digital Album

    Released by 6131 Records. Limited to 600.
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    Due to vinyl pressing delays, LPs may not ship until March 2023.

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    shipping out on or around March 31, 2023
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  • Rat Tally "In My Car" - Ltd. Orange + Yellow Splatter Vinyl
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    Released by 6131 Records. Limited to 100.
    Clear with Orange + Yellow Splatter Vinyl.

    Due to vinyl pressing delays, LPs may not ship until March 2023.

    Includes unlimited streaming of In My Car via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality download in MP3, FLAC and more.

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1.
Longshot 03:22
Got bored of the show So I went home to look at the walls And catch my thoughts but they’re all multiplying Like dust kicked off from the floor They spiral out and under the door Then float up and start to stick to the ceiling But I’m ok if you’re ok I’m too lazy to say I’m not Even if I wanted to explain It would probably take too long Can’t go back But I keep track of all of your words Spread them thin and dig too deep for a meaning It’s murder but it’s a game You like to watch me try to get away Who knew dying could be so fucking embarassing? But I’m ok if you’re ok We both know it’s a longshot Even if I wanted you to stay We’d get caught in a deadlock I’ll just leave it for today Couldn’t bring myself to tell you to stop Only ever wanted you to stay But we’d get caught in a deadlock
2.
I’m seeing stars Didn’t look away fast enough Guess you left your mark When I lose it I’ll send my regards It’s like I’m anchored to the round-a-bout That spinning wheel at the playground And you get closer with every cycle Getting off becomes consequential I wait for the punch But you keep your mouth shut I wish you would scream at me At least then I could say a few things I was ready on sight But you brought a ghost to a fist fight I still fantasize it constantly I miss New England The smell of summer in Boston And living in a vacuum When getting older was fun And so were you I had a plan But every round I’m dealt a bad hand I got nothing I’m playing on tilt And I can’t seem to sit still I’ll never be done Cause I can’t keep my mouth shut I wish you’d just scream at me Cause honestly I probably Oh I just want validation Say I’m just as bad as one of the Mansons Bet you fantasize it constantly
3.
Zombies 03:13
I get the urge to curl up in bed in Chicago Try to get back what I lost in Colorado But I get scared when I realize I don’t need it anymore So I pick up where I left off We got numb from boredom within a few weeks Filled our lungs with the AC and video game zombies But it wasn’t real, so I watched you get ripped apart on repeat As if we needed another reason to be angry Cause I don’t wanna be here anymore I don’t wanna be here I don’t wanna be here at all I don’t wanna be here He said I might be getting old, I’m not even twenty-five And I’m paying rent in LA for the last time Then when I go to the corner store I always get carded When I walk home I’ll watch the sky as it darkens While I beg for the end Cause I don’t wanna be here anymore I don’t wanna be here I don’t wanna be here at all I don’t wanna be here Waiting for my life to reappear But I don’t know that I want it anymore
4.
You told me “calm down, make it better” That I come around with all my weather While California goes You twist me up like Tacoma Narrows An engineering disaster From an aeroelastic flutter That broke me in two And they’ll show it on a 16mm It might even make the news Sit down call my friends Talk until I’m not playing pretend While everywhere else gets cold I’ll wade in the sound of the undertow It pushes back my shoulders When I surface everything’s smoldering So I look up at the moon And you’re sitting there waving signals at me Smiling at the view
5.
Prettier 03:25
You came with me outside I lit a cigarette and closed my lips tight You said that I’m too young to die today Well sorry I’ve just been down for the past decade We walk around this town at night And talk about how these are end times I told you I’ll burn it down to ashes But you said once it’s all gone We’ll see the sky and the stars flashing But I’m holding on to something rotten I always do Think I’m prettier when I’m unhappy And so do you I scared you in my old apartment Scared me too but now it’s not important I got so sad I couldn’t eat And when you finally left I could’ve died right there in the bed sheets Cause I’m holding on to something rotten I always do Think I’m prettier when I’m unhappy And so do you Wrestle with myself into kindly stopping Before I cut through When I drop I plummet Right into the stomach
6.
I can’t call it What I know it is And I won’t touch you Before the end of this It reminds me of a fever And that feelings are just chemicals They say your body won’t remember As long as the pain was all physical I’ll forget every moment Until you don’t exist While I was choking you didn’t notice And you gave me a kiss It sounds just like a story That you’d said was pseudo-intellectual Sorry to be so boring Whenever you look at me like an animal I’ll wait to go out ‘til you turn your back Then watch you through the windows (I can’t call it what I know it is) I’ll sit in my car ‘til the lights go black And stare into my cellphone (I can’t call it what I know it is) I’ll sit in my car ‘til the lights go black I’ll sit in my car ‘til the lights go black I’ll sit in my car ‘til the lights go black And stare into my cellphone
7.
Allston 02:53
Took a train going outbound Back to what we know I forgot what it’s like here in April When the rain gets under your coat But I’ll go wherever you go Even though it happens too quick And it makes me sick So I try to hold it down But all the word vomit follows me around I’ll be standing on this cliff forever Got off the stop at Harvard Went to our favorite mediocre bar A memory I never got over Living it wasn’t this hard But I’ll go wherever you go Even though it happens too quick And it makes me sick Cause here I know that I can’t shake the thought That I am nothing and you were always better than anyone You can tell me what to say forever
8.
Phone 02:49
My phone is empty every morning like I’m just a memory Collectively shared by my friends on the other end of the country Every day is just a bad re run And I’m just no fun I’m still feeling blue But I guess that’s what I’m used to You don’t pick up at all I’m sick to my stomach and hollowed My sister said there’s always a way out A hole in every plan that you might not want to patch up And I’m still thinking about you But I guess that’s what I’m used to You don’t pick up at all I’m sick to my stomach and hollowed And I felt the strain In the metal of my bed frame I’m still thinking about you But I guess that’s what I’m used to
9.
Kiss me soft and tug at my clothes Hair in my eyes and face in your skin But I brush it off cause it only lasts a few minutes But maybe next time I’ll say no Maybe I’ll say no Cause I don’t owe you everything you’ve ever wanted And you only need me to kiss your head and make you happy But I don’t owe you anything that you’ve ever wanted And you don’t need me You’d rather get another lonely girl to cry for I only come over after 2am So no one’s around to watch me fall as I go down But I brush it off cause it only lasts a few minutes But don’t call me baby Don’t fucking call me baby Cause I don’t owe you everything you’ve ever wanted And you only need me to kiss your head and make you happy But I don’t owe you anything that you’ve ever wanted And you don’t need me You’d rather get another lonely girl I don’t love you I don’t miss you I don’t love you I don’t need you
10.
Hold Me Over 02:42
Tell me I’m smart Tell me I’m better sober That I’m a laugh Something to hold me over Am I a dream? All encompassing? But you don’t have to lie Tell me I’m loved Tell me I’m good when we go slower That I’m always right And I’m never getting older I wanna believe that I’m good enough For anybody But I don’t wanna lie So who do I get to blame for letting you take away Everything? When you don’t know what you’ve done You don’t even know what you’ve done But you should be able to tell when my body won’t respond Couldn’t admit it ‘til you were gone I just wanna be gone Crying on the hospital lawn So tell me I’m smart Tell me I’m better sober That I’m a laugh Something to hold me over
11.
Everything was green at Mount Auburn Cemetery It looked like a scene before jumping cold out of a long dream Built like a labyrinth Guilt at the center of it Once you walk inside, the hills and stone stretch on for miles And who wouldn’t wanna be buried under marble in a sanctuary? Said if we got lost, we’d climb the tower and look from the top Just like how I still feel myself at twenty climbing through me I don’t think she’s ever leaving You saw her then and she was beaming Nowhere here so far even comes close to that graveyard If I shut my eyes real hard all the memories restart And I still see it I still see it I still see it I still see it
12.
Every time I’m getting better Why do I go looking for you? I reach down to pull you out It’s the only thing I know how to do You smile and say that you miss me But nothing could be more cruel You’ve got me in a hold and I feel invisible While I watch you fill the room Hanging on to ropes When you already let go I stood on the wall right beside you To make you feel taller than me You laughed at how small I looked It’s your fault that I couldn’t stand to leave Hanging on to ropes When you already let go But I’ll ignore your absence Reenact your counterbalance

credits

released August 12, 2022

Songs by Addy Harris
Performed by: Jacob Allen (bass, vocals) Jeff Crenshaw (drums, keys, vocals) Melina Duterte (vocals) Max Grazier (lead guitar, vocals) Seamus Guy (banjo, violin, vocals) Addy Harris (Vocals, guitar, cello) Madeline Kenney (vocals) Sean Sakamoto (bass) Cole Szilagyi (lead guitar, vocals)
Tracks 1-12 Produced by Max Grazier, "Allston" Produced by Max Grazier and Cole Szilagyi, "Phone" Produced by Max Grazier and Sean Sakamoto, "White Girls" produced by Max Grazier and Olivia West
Recorded by Jacob Allen, Melina Duterte, Max Grazier, Seamus Guy, Robbie Hamilton, Addy Harris, Madeline Kenney, and Sean Sakamoto
Mixed by Max Grazier
Mastered by Sarah Register
Cover Photo by Chris Strong

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Rat Tally Chicago, Illinois

Rat Tally (Addy Harris) Writing sad music for sad people. Or happy people. Or whoever.

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