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When You Wake Up

by Rat Tally

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1.
I keep myself confined you already know why I want to breathe and die all at the same time And I've lost my head before Clawing at my face in the mirror I can't help it, it's never enough anymore Cause I just want to feel something Even If I end up spitting out blood I told you you'd get used to it I think I always knew you never would Tell everyone I'm fine it's not like the last time Ignoring all the signs cause I'll say anything to make it right And I won't pretend like I don't know That I'm down for the count and you've been keeping score I'll say I can't help it, it's not like you didn't know before But I just want to feel something Even if I end up spitting out blood I told you you'd get used to it I think I always knew you never would But I just want to feel something Even if you end up spitting out blood When you're finally done with it I'll tell you I always knew one day you'd run
2.
Laugh It Off 03:18
Last night I watched the green line pass by It was filled with faces of no one I seemed to recognize And as I looked from the outside Couldn't stop it I just cried Cause it's not mine anymore Thought I wouldn't want you anymore Do you think that we'll just laugh it off? Do you think that we could just laugh it off? While you're out kissing anyone else I'm in another city Reading bullshit websites on compatibility As if the stars could help With how desperately I want you around Do you think that we'll just laugh it off? Do you think that we could just laugh it off? I wish I hadn't called it off Do you wish we hadn't called it off?
3.
What's the word for in between The Mediterranean and the Atlantic sea? Cause I feel like I was born in the cracks beneath And I go back to drown there every few weeks I'll sit in the salt beds until the waves decide where to take me Keep the car door unlocked for me So I can roll out before anyone turns the keys Cause every time I pass water I wanna jump straight in Hoping I'll find you at the bottom If I just keep sinking
4.
Swarming 02:14
I'm so fucking lonely I stay at yours til five again Cause til the sun comes up I just can't be Alone with myself And while the whole world is sleeping Between my ears you've been swarming You don't know it now but when I see your smile I take off running And the worst part is The worst part is That the best part ends We make our rounds to the courtyard Like it's another country Maybe that's where I settled it Every mistake I'm currently making Maybe I should have stayed Can you blame me for all the doubting? Maybe I should have stayed And maybe then we would've said But the worst part is The worst part is That the best part ends
5.
Woke up weird today Feeling heavier than when I fell asleep I'm thinking about everything I'm too scared to say it out loud anyways I tried explaining The other night when our only friends came I think I might've said too much Just wondering if anyone feels the same You can't tell but I'm a waste of a body Dead from all the crying And I won't feel it when you touch me You can't tell but I'm a waste of a body But I'll keep trying Am I really even wanted? Am I really even wanted?

credits

released November 22, 2019

Recorded by Max Grazier and Kenny Harmon

Mixed, Mastered and Produced by Max Grazier

Shoutout to all my friends and family. You know who you are I don't have to say it. I love you all so deeply it keeps me up at night.

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Rat Tally Chicago, Illinois

Rat Tally (Addy Harris) Writing sad music for sad people. Or happy people. Or whoever.

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